"Bitter or Better"

     We've all had our feelings hurt. Our toes stepped on, our pride wounded. I bet you don't have a hard time thinking of a "friend" who's recently talked smack behind your back.  People have done us in, treated us wrong, acted unfairly.  In fact, you're just not sure you can let this one go without taking to Facebook and calling them out on it! That would serve them right, wouldn't it?

     Now, also tell me this... Just how many of us can say that we've never been the high tempered, sharp-tongued, toe stompee? Can you count on one hand the number of people you've whispered about, made fun of, or envied, in the past 24 hours alone? Whether you've said these things aloud to a friend or just thought them to yourself:  maybe about the co-worker who sits lazily at her desk while you work feverishly away at your keyboard ("having to take up her slack..."); or the classmate who just walked into the room wearing the new pair of boots you were so desperately hoping to buy (as you eye her up and down, then roll your eyes as she walks past).  Ouch. Truth smacks us hard in the face, doesn't it?  We've all been there, done that. 
     I think it's easy to, sometimes, call people out on their short-comings and keep a blind eye to our own.  Jesus says in Matthew 7 verses 3-4:  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye', when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"  Wow. This is powerful stuff.
     The reality is, we get angry.  And yes: there are times when we are justified in our anger.  We also get hurt.  We can't wrap our minds around the lies that our enemies tell about us, and it's painful.  But it's also inescapable-- it's in the world we live, and it's also in us.  "IT" is sin. We all fall short.  You've been wronged, but chances are you've wronged someone too.  Good thing we have a Savior that covers all that, isn't it? 
     So how do we cope with it all?  Where do we go from here?  Do we make up?  Do we stay mad forever?  Or do we sweep it under the rug, and pretend it all never happened?  Let's decide...
     The Bible says, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26)  And personally, I believe these are words to live by (as is everything else God-breathed).  I can tell you from experience:  sometimes, it's hard to let stuff go.  There have been times when I've thought to myself-- "I cannot believe he did this to me".  Or, "she said what about me?" "How could she feel this way about me? I've always been so nice to her.".... you get the picture.  But I can also tell you firsthand, when your identity is found in Jesus (see my post: "Identity Crisis"), and you are striving to live like Him, you'll begin to look at things a lot differently.  Introducing:  forgiveness.   
     A few things regarding forgiveness: 

• It's important to note that in some instances, forgiveness isn't a one-time thing.  There are times when we've been so deeply hurt, that every day we have to say a prayer that God will heal our heart and take away the pain as well as the bitterness.      
• Secondly, I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "I'll forgive them when they ask me to."  HA!  That's a laugh.  Seriously, let me make this clear:  this does not exempt you from forgiving someone. Now, I'm not saying that you have to reconcile your relationship with them in every situation. There are times when we have to "come out and be separated" from people because of certain circumstances. But if we are unable to let go of the bitterness in our heart that's aimed at a person or persons, I have to believe we are missing something crucial.  Instead, we should really be praying for them. Praying that they'll come to know Jesus, the only One capable of changing the heart.  Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".
• Which leads me to my final point:  if you've ever prayed for Jesus to forgive you, do you think He hesitates to do so?  This one's a no brainer.  Of course He doesn't.  So why on earth would we think we have the audacity to not do the same?  ..."Jesus, please forgive me,.. but Lord I just can't forgive them."  That's a no-go, jack. 

     If you take anything away from this post, let it be this:  we are called to be forgivers.  And I can justify saying this because followers of Christ are called to be like Christ.  If our identity is in Christ, we are called to live like Christ.  And Christ is a forgiver.  He is The Forgiver. 
     Also, if you're honest with yourself, I think you'd agree it's harder work being bitter than it is at feeling better.  There's a song by Matthew West that's really became a favorite of mine.  It says, "the prisoner that it really frees is you: forgiveness".  How true we will find this to be.  Take a listen; I think it will bless your heart.

 
     "Help me now to give what You gave to me: forgiveness."   May this forever be our prayer.  May this forever be our life.  One of forgiveness.