"Bitter or Better"

     We've all had our feelings hurt. Our toes stepped on, our pride wounded. I bet you don't have a hard time thinking of a "friend" who's recently talked smack behind your back.  People have done us in, treated us wrong, acted unfairly.  In fact, you're just not sure you can let this one go without taking to Facebook and calling them out on it! That would serve them right, wouldn't it?

     Now, also tell me this... Just how many of us can say that we've never been the high tempered, sharp-tongued, toe stompee? Can you count on one hand the number of people you've whispered about, made fun of, or envied, in the past 24 hours alone? Whether you've said these things aloud to a friend or just thought them to yourself:  maybe about the co-worker who sits lazily at her desk while you work feverishly away at your keyboard ("having to take up her slack..."); or the classmate who just walked into the room wearing the new pair of boots you were so desperately hoping to buy (as you eye her up and down, then roll your eyes as she walks past).  Ouch. Truth smacks us hard in the face, doesn't it?  We've all been there, done that. 
     I think it's easy to, sometimes, call people out on their short-comings and keep a blind eye to our own.  Jesus says in Matthew 7 verses 3-4:  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye', when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?"  Wow. This is powerful stuff.
     The reality is, we get angry.  And yes: there are times when we are justified in our anger.  We also get hurt.  We can't wrap our minds around the lies that our enemies tell about us, and it's painful.  But it's also inescapable-- it's in the world we live, and it's also in us.  "IT" is sin. We all fall short.  You've been wronged, but chances are you've wronged someone too.  Good thing we have a Savior that covers all that, isn't it? 
     So how do we cope with it all?  Where do we go from here?  Do we make up?  Do we stay mad forever?  Or do we sweep it under the rug, and pretend it all never happened?  Let's decide...
     The Bible says, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." (Ephesians 4:26)  And personally, I believe these are words to live by (as is everything else God-breathed).  I can tell you from experience:  sometimes, it's hard to let stuff go.  There have been times when I've thought to myself-- "I cannot believe he did this to me".  Or, "she said what about me?" "How could she feel this way about me? I've always been so nice to her.".... you get the picture.  But I can also tell you firsthand, when your identity is found in Jesus (see my post: "Identity Crisis"), and you are striving to live like Him, you'll begin to look at things a lot differently.  Introducing:  forgiveness.   
     A few things regarding forgiveness: 

• It's important to note that in some instances, forgiveness isn't a one-time thing.  There are times when we've been so deeply hurt, that every day we have to say a prayer that God will heal our heart and take away the pain as well as the bitterness.      
• Secondly, I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say, "I'll forgive them when they ask me to."  HA!  That's a laugh.  Seriously, let me make this clear:  this does not exempt you from forgiving someone. Now, I'm not saying that you have to reconcile your relationship with them in every situation. There are times when we have to "come out and be separated" from people because of certain circumstances. But if we are unable to let go of the bitterness in our heart that's aimed at a person or persons, I have to believe we are missing something crucial.  Instead, we should really be praying for them. Praying that they'll come to know Jesus, the only One capable of changing the heart.  Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".
• Which leads me to my final point:  if you've ever prayed for Jesus to forgive you, do you think He hesitates to do so?  This one's a no brainer.  Of course He doesn't.  So why on earth would we think we have the audacity to not do the same?  ..."Jesus, please forgive me,.. but Lord I just can't forgive them."  That's a no-go, jack. 

     If you take anything away from this post, let it be this:  we are called to be forgivers.  And I can justify saying this because followers of Christ are called to be like Christ.  If our identity is in Christ, we are called to live like Christ.  And Christ is a forgiver.  He is The Forgiver. 
     Also, if you're honest with yourself, I think you'd agree it's harder work being bitter than it is at feeling better.  There's a song by Matthew West that's really became a favorite of mine.  It says, "the prisoner that it really frees is you: forgiveness".  How true we will find this to be.  Take a listen; I think it will bless your heart.

 
     "Help me now to give what You gave to me: forgiveness."   May this forever be our prayer.  May this forever be our life.  One of forgiveness.  

Identity Crisis

     "Who are you?... hoo, hoo... hoo, hoo..."  Lyric from one of my favorite bands to date; question that many of us spend whole our lives hoping to one day answer.   

     Since returning to NYC for work on this year's Tribeca Film Festival, I've had to do some routine rearranging.  As Phillip said to me before I left, "we are creatures of habit. We like routine, and if we have to change our daily routine we have worked so hard to perfect, we find it hard to function".  Well I found ole' Phil to be right on this, as I have been a little perturbed to be out of my normal routine, going days in between my runs, sleeping less than my normal 8 hours a night, and "not having enough time" for my daily morning Bible study.  It's funny:  I've always considered myself to be a free spirit of sorts, going with the flow of things, chill as a cucumber.  And although this is how I am for the most part, I too, am a creature of habit.

     So as I was saying,... I've done some routine rearranging.  And guess what:  I am still breathing.  The world hasn't ended.  All is well.  I have decided to go on daily walks after lunch, use the first 20 minutes at my desk for Bible study in the mornings, and although it's not my normal routine, I'm adjusting to what works for me, and it's going great!
     Which brings me to the reason for my post:  today, while working at my desk, I listened to an online sermon from Pastor Mark Driscoll with Mars Hill Church.  (you can find a list of sermons, daily devotions, and other resources here.)  It was from his new sermon series covering the book of Ephesians, titled: "Who Do You Think You Are".  In the first part of the series, Pastor Mark discusses who we are as followers of Jesus:  "I Am ______."  This message spoke to me in so many ways.  Key points I took from the lesson: 

• Your identity is received NOT achieved:  meaning you can't earn salvation.  It is by "grace alone that you are saved".  In short, you can't save yourself.
• Your identity is NOT found in IDOLS:  (Items, Duties, Others, Longings, Sufferings)  So many times we try to find our identity in the clothes we wear, the jobs we work, the acceptance of others, the hopes of better tomorrows, and the heartaches of our yesterdays.  But all these things are lies and they ultimately fail us.  Identity is in Christ, not in you, not in idols.

     If you have some time-- better yet, make time (while answering your emails, or during your morning jog <there's an app for that-- "Mars Hill">) to listen to this sermon. "Click Here". 
     Pastor Mark ends the lesson with a statement that really resonated within me:  "on our deathbed, all that will matter to us is Jesus, and people."  We won't care about the trophies we won, the car we drove, the shoes we wore.  It'll be about the relationships we built-- the "I love you's" we said-- the acts of kindness we performed, all in the name of Jesus:  I'd like to think those are the things I'll remember as I take my last breath.
     Stop searching for yourself.  If you know Jesus, you're already found.  You have purpose.

~ Have a great day, friends.  And thank you, Phillip, for introducing me to this wonderful study tool.

Times, they are a changin'...

     So, it's been a while since I've checked in, partly due to the fact I've been spending the majority of my time away from the computer and with a certain S.O.S., not to mention the little fact that mr. Dell sort of kicked the can. The holidays were my favorite ever this past year, and my 2013 has gotten off to a great start!
       It might surprise you to learn that a couple of my challenges for the year have been altered.  I chose to do this for a few reasons, but ultimately because I feel that God is working on me: better preparing me to go out and share His Son with the world, whether it be in the work place, community, or with new friends.  So a revised list of the "5" is as follows...

1.)  run a half-marathon -  I've chosen my race and am running towards this goal!

 

2.)  read the Bible in its' entirety - forever in the works, as I've learned that studying the Word is far more crucial than just reading it... which is why I'm quitting the timeline

 

3.)  make a thus-far (scrapbook) of my life -  still very much hoping to accomplish this, although I'm considering changing "scrapbook" to "picture album"...

 

4.)  select and read 50 of the "100 greatest novels of all time-  this one probably isn't going to happen and I've come to accept that.  Although I enjoy a good novel,  I've recently found that I'm enjoying and craving "other" books instead!  That being said, I now have a new #4.

 

4.)  continue reading books that will help me strive to live more like Jesus

- "Multiply", by Frances Chan

- "Subversive Kingdom", by Ed Stetzer

- "Blue Like Jazz", by Donald Miller

- "Follow Me", by David Platt (just starting this one! Thank you Phillip!)

 

5.)  journey to the remaining states I've yet to visit - I'm getting ready to cross one off the list in a few short weeks!  It's a year for adventure: of all sorts!